What? You think I will be yammering on about the Pistorious case or something equally compelling like Octomom’s ascent into porn? Oh, noooooo.
I could give two shits about Alec Baldwin. I really could, but after watching this video, I do know I could never be a celebrity. Check out this link and come back to me.
Apparently ol’ Alec may have uttered some very unkind things and verbally threatened to strangle a reporter or two on his way to his local bagel shop. C’mon…who hasn’t done this at one time or another? For the rest of this rant, I will need you to imagine air quotes around the word “reporter(s)” every time I use it. I do not know where the air quotes on my keyboard are yet. You will have to muddle through until I do find them.
I don’t know if Alec really did say what those reporters claimed he said and I don’t care. If someone was all over me like these people were in this video they better be ready to defend themselves. I like how the video opens on Alec at the :12 mark pushing a reporter away after right after the lead in reporter commented on how touchy Baldwin appeared to be. You have to listen carefully, but Alec says, “You have to back up. You’re hitting me with the micropho….” at which point he is cut off by said reporter telling Baldwin not to touch him. Immediately after Alec pushes the reporter away, the intrepid newsman takes that as an invitation to play the famous “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!” game that we all used to play in the backseat of the car during long family trips precisely to drive our friends/brothers/sisters ay-fucking nuts.
I’m glad she didn’t lose her job. She did get demoted from lieutenant back down to sergeant. I am also assuming that the boyfriend who couldn’t keep her pics for his own private fap fodder has now been reduced to the rank of single. I also hope he applies for a transfer so she isn’t still his boss.
Lastly, I would like to wrap up with an excellent rendition of Poe’s “The Raven” because I can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLSmhpwLdEQ