Attention please. Attention.
Michigan has not repealed the law making it legal to sell alcohol on Sunday. What they have done is allow small businesses to buy a permit to sell alcohol on Sunday mornings.
This enrages me more than the initial stupid ass law that had no business outside of Pastor Stiffley’s personal preferences for being on the books in the first place. There is not a single logical reason for alcohol sales to have ever been suspended on Sunday morning except to make people’s lives more difficult and to pacify the Bible contingent. Of course, there was the small chapter of non-religious women who also wanted a blue law on Sundays because they got tired of being used as punching bags by their drunken boyfriends whenever Favre threw an interception, but now Favre is in MN and most women have realized the best way to avoid pummelings is if their men drink at the bar starting a 8 a.m. instead of drinking on the couch in their own living rooms.
All pummelings aside, instead of repealing the law and some senator saying, “What in the cockleberries were we thinking? Sorry about those years of inconvenience forced on you. We have it fixed now.”
Do we voters get that? Nope. Instead we get from some politician that I cannot help but picture as being Mayor Quimby saying, “We know it’s a dumb law and not only are we going to keep it on the books anyways…we are going to use it to extort money from small businesses in order to fill our coffers. We keep raiding the education fund, but even that pot is getting thin these days so we have to come up another way to legally blackmail the general public. Y’know because $150 parking tickets, and cameras at intersections that will send the cops a pic of you making a rolling stop even though there isn’t a car around for miles…well…those things just weren’t generating enough revenue anymore. For my next act, I will piss down your back while telling you it is raining.”
If the law is no longer useful….get rid of it. Don’t tell me I don’t have to obey the law if I buy a $160 special permit.
What’s next? What other laws can I get away with breaking if I buy a permit?
Say, Mayor Quimby, how much is it for one of those permits that allows me to make a feline salsa out of my neighbor’s screaming tomcat?
I could really use a special permit allowing me to shoot folks who don’t use their turn signals. Hell, if they sold those, I’d sell my house, live out of my truck, and stockpile those permits.
Aw damn…can I buy a “Smack a ho.” permit? Yeah, well see she’s not my wife and Favre is in MN now so I figured I’d need a permit this time.
The whole situation is nonsensical at best and basically criminal at worst. FU Michigan.