A Children’s Story

–This is one of those quickwrites again. Somehow in ten minutes I had to work a hedgehog, a can coolie, and a….well we’ll see if you can figure out the third object I had to include by the time you finish the story.

Buddha the Cute Little Hedgehog

Buddha the cute little hedgehog was not deserving of his namesake. He was crabby and violent and not at all a calm and happy sort of hedgehog. Buddha was never happy. Esmerelda the Eagle would say, “Hi Buddha!” every morning and Buddha would just harrumph. Sammy the Shrew, would say, “Good morning, Buddha.” and Buddha harrumphed. Sally the Squirrel would say, “Good day, Buddha.” and Buddha just harrump, hump, humphed.

Eventually the other animals got tired of Buddha’s unmannerly manners and surly sassiness. They all met in Esmerelda’s tree for a meeting to decide what to do bout Buddha’s bad attitude.

“Maybe he’s just hungry? I don’t feel very nice when I’m too hungry.” said Sammy.

“Maybe he’s not sleeping well? I get crabby when I don’t sleep.” said Sally.

“Maybe he’s too cold. I hate being cold, too.” said Esmerelda

So they all decided to do what they could do to try to make Buddha happy.

Sammy brought Buddha a meal fit for a king and the next day, Buddha harump, hump, humphed all day long.

The next day Sally brought Buddha some wonderful down she found from an old pillow hoping it would help Buddha get some rest. The next day Buddha harump, hump, humphed all day long.

Esmerelda brought Buddha an old can coolie and pecked out armholes and a neckhole for Buddha so he could wear it like a shirt. The next day Buddha still harump, hump, humphed all day long.

But the next day, came and something wonderful happened. A cute little boy was walking through the woods. His eyes lit up when he saw what he thought was just the cutest little hedgehog he had ever seen. Then the little boy raised his 30-30 rifle and blew the living hell out of Buddha. There was nothing left of Buddha except a few tufts of bloody fur.

When the boy walked away whistling, Sammy, Sally, and Esmerelda came out of hiding and danced around the pieces of Buddha’s still warm corpse and proceeded to live happily ever after.

The moral of the story: Just because you are cute, doesn’t mean you aren’t still a bastard.


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