Bout Damn Time

Bout Damn Time

Wow, time sure flies when you’re busier than hell. Glad to say that not all of it has been busy with occupational work and etc. I’ve knocked about 30 jobs off the “Get done before the end of summer” list in my first week off after driver ed shut down. I also I took in Ozzfest at Alpine Valley this past weekend. The setup at Alpine Valley kinda makes me think about what it would be like to have an ice cream man design bridges or something.

The first fuckamarole was a guard rail set up around the second stage to keep it from getting too crowded close to the band. You had to get there at about 7-8 a.m. to get a special wristband to let you into this privileged area. Not the worst idea in the world except that it was one of the best kept secrets of the show. Keep in mind that this is an all day metal festival that goes on for about 13+ hours and not that many people want to be there for the whole thing. I like metal, but 13+ hours is too much for me in one day. If you weren’t allowed inside the guard rail you had to stay back far enough from the band to really damage the concert experience. It didn’t help that while I was right near the guard rail, I got to watch the privileged few do calisthenics and play tag like kids because they had so much elbow room in there. I managed to get one row away from the rail and I still ended up watching over half the concert on the big screen. Great. My brother-in-law has a 65 inch flat screen t.v. that I could have enjoyed just as much for a lot less money. Since the special orange arm band thing wasn’t publicized, anyone more than four rows outside of Graceland had no idea why they were so far back from the stage and kept surging forward trying to get closer, not knowing there was a guard rail fifteen feet in front of them. Again, great stuff.

The main stage consisted of about oh….four hundred acres of seats before the lawn seating began which meant you could stand right behind the seats and still not be able to recognize individual band members. Of course, if I had just wanted to take out that second mortgage on the house, I could have bought tickets in the seat acreage, but I decided against that course of action. Also, for some reason, they decided not to run the second stage and main stage bands together this time. So instead of people heading back and forth to catch the bands they wanted and socializing when it was time to take a break from the mosh pits and crowd surfing, people just gave up trying to see the stage and lagged way in the back of the crowd. The social atmosphere of this thing was severely retarded as a result of this major feat of planning. Not to mention it also made it harder and harder to see the bands you wanted to see because the crowd wasn’t split up between two ends of the fairgrounds.

Those major bitches out of the way, Alpine Valley had two things going for it. A)I never had to wait in line for beer and B)I never had to wait in a line longer than three people for a piss. Other than that, I can only hope that Ozzfest returns to Somerset, WI again in the future because my experience at Somerset will last me a lifetime. My experience at Alpine Valley was okay, but I surely don’t see myself ever spending that much time and energy to see a music festival there again. I think next summer I’ll have to check out the Fox Valley and the SummerFest they hold there annually.

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